And I just can NOT sleep...

it's 5:30am!! I went to bed at 2am...fell asleep pretty much straight away, hubby got home at nearly 4 (I heard him and woke up), comes to bed at nearly 5am...we start talking...he was talking about feeling unfit, and about jumping on the treadmill...I told him there were things he SHOULD be doing outside that is natural exercise- and that it all helps...such as water blast the house...then asked nicely "So where is the water blaster?" He said one of his uncles might still have it...*HUH?? WTF??* The last time we were supposed to water blast out house, a different uncle had it...and now another one has it?? So again...while everyone else gets off their ass and makes there house nice and clean, our house is FUCKIN FILTHY!!!

So that's why I can't sleep...I just felt pissed off...first of all I'm sick of being woken up in the early bloody hours...I've told him every bloody day that I need to work on my sleeping pattern...have asked him to NOT disturb me when he jumps in bed cos he knows I'm a light sleeper...not only that, but if he comes home at the same time lil bro gets home, they act like it's the middle of the day...they're loud, slam doors...shit.

Anyway, lil bro is moving out on the 20th of March. One of hubby's cousins and his partner have found a house in Pakuranga, and he will be boarding with them. He's very good friends with the cousin. He will have the rumpus room of the house with it's own bathroom and toilet and access to the house, lil bro reckons he wants more Independence...good on him. He does need his own space that's for sure. I hope it works out for him. Money shouldn't be a problem...he makes GOOD money...but he also spends wayyy too much!! So we'll see...I've told him he is more than welcome to move back with us if it doesn't work out.

8am - haven't been to sleep yet, have made the kids lunches, just hanging out with them before they go to school :) I'm starting to feel tired now though, so I'll prolly take my grumpy ass to bed as soon as they go lol.

3pm - just waiting for the kids to come home now. I had a little nap this afternoon...no where near what I needed though seeing as I only got 3 hours sleep last night...*sigh*

Hubby has spent the entire day in bed, he popped out when the kids were just leaving to school...and again at lunch time to eat a whole packet of chips! Otherwise...he's been in bed sleeping...cool huh. NOT. I'm tired of this...he brings my whole mood down and any motivation I thought I had just goes completely out the door.

I can't wait to start my course - I need to get out and be around people who inspire me to do things and get shit done! I don't get that stimulation from hubby...any ideas I have, put forward to him just get a nod for a reply...or if I'm really lucky I'll get a 'that's good'...sometimes I have to complain about the simple nod before I get a 'that's good'...so yeah, I NEED to be around LIVE people...people who know how to encourage another person...

Days like this I just feel like I'm stuck in a hole...and it's so hard to get out, even just trying to stand up and peek out the hole is hard enough...it's sooo depressing...really sick of it. Now the kids are coming home, I'm teary eyed typing this out...the kids will come home and I could very well be crabby to them...but is it their fault? NO. Damn it!! Damn this shit. *sigh*

*wipes my tears - gets myself together and harden up* Be thankful for what I do have, which is four gorgeous kids who love me even though they drive me nuts sometimes ;)

Kids got home and they had ice creams...it was REALLY warm today...I'm not feeling it as much as everyone else around me, but felt really sorry for the kids coming in the house all red, hot and flustered!!

7:30pm - well diner has been had - YUMMY!! Made my own burger patties (usually just use plain mince and shape - or store bought ones) so anyway this time I added some fresh (homemade) bread crumbs, finely chopped onions, tomato sauce, crushed garlic, I think that's it...pretty basic. Two of the four kids LOVED them, the other two aren't onion fans...*take note for next time*

Also made home made potato and kumara wedges...garlic salt...YUMMO!! We ate outside on the picnic table, nice cool breeze...

I'm pretty tired...but I still have a whole chicken to cook for lil bro and hubby...(hubby doesn't deserve to eat!!) lol. But I'm a good wifey and will have a lovely diner cooked for the both of them...would be so easy for me to turn around and tell them to buy some fast food on the way home *I AM ON STRIKE* But I won't...nice huh ;)

OOOhh!!! The three gold items I bought off TM last week have turned up and my gawd!! I am OVER THE MOON with all the items but more so for one of the rings!! It is stunning!! Will post pic later...

which is something I have been meaning to get into...taking more pics to post on my blog - it makes it more interesting huh :) So yeah, the prices I paid for these three items was a complete BARGAIN...so one I will def keep and the other two items I may save for a rainy day ;)