Yellow dress - over and done with

Yep, all done, picked up and paid for. No drama with payment, they 'seemed' happy with the dress...I say 'seemed' happy as I haven't heard back from them...even though I sent them a txt to let me know what they think when they get home and put it on the girl it was made for...haven't heard back - guts telling me they aren't happy - WHY I don't know - I know it fits - I KNOW it's well made...so why is my gut telling me something negative? Self DOUBT!! That's what it is.

So I'm just going to leave that feeling at the door so to speak and not let it bother me...*gwad that's so hard to do!!* Anyway...I don't have any classes next week - mid term break - so I'm going to use this time to try and sort out my room, try and 'bond' with my overlocker LOL.

In class today I made up a couple of tops, same pattern but a lycra blend knit fabric - pics to follow tomorrow - just really cold and tired right now.

BYE BYE

Well this is my last post for 2 weeks :)

I'm putting the computer away while I'm gone, there is a virus on my computer that needs to be removed, so I don't want the kids doing more damage while I'm gone...

Slowly getting packed - excitment is brewing in my tummy!!

Tofa soifua ;)

1 more sleep - *breath...breath...*

LOL - excited much - hell yeah!! But also missing the kids already - and I haven't even left yet!! How crazy is that? Miss 9 brought me to tears this morning - she made me the most beautiful Mothers Day card last night, gives it to me this morning, it was just gorgeous - then she started crying - she's gonna miss me - actually she always does when I go away - which is funny cos out of all the kids, she's the one that I just know I'm gonna have a hard time with 'attitude' wise - she's so hard headed, independent...strong willed...STUBBORN - oops - am I describing her or ME?? lol - so yeah - I can just see the clashes happening during the teen years...she already got 'the looks that could kill' down to perfection!!

Anywhoo...kids are all at school today, I have just showered and gonna get ready for a busy day. Made an attempt at packing bags last night - didn't go very well...so many clothes, more than 2 weeks worth - so trying to decide what to take and what to leave - I ALWAYS overpack and I don't want to do that this time, I just hate getting to where I'm going and thinking "Oh...I knew I should have worn this...or that...." So yeah, will have to think my wardrobe through seriously...oh and the shoes...that's another dilemma lol

I want to treat myself to a pedicure today too - might get that out of the way first which will give hubby another hour or so in bed, I picked him up from work just after 5am - I really should let him get his sleep lol. So a pedicure is a great way to let him do that :)

after 9am, and I'm still home -

am going this morning with hubby to send the money to Samoa - have to take it out of the bank first then take it to the place we are sending it through - we'll have a heck of a lot of cash on us...we'll feel super rich for about 30 mins, then back to super broke LMAO.

Then I'll go to class...have a couple of tops to adjusts and jeans to hem lol.

Enjoy your day people!!

5pm - well - money is sent. After being smoke free for a couple of weeks now, I needed a smoke after that!! I just felt anxious through the whole process - so much money in my hot hands....handed over for a very good purpose...dunno what it was I was feeling, a mixture of things, excitement, anxiety, nervousness...but it's all done now, had a smoke, calmed down...looking forward to the trip now.

I got to class just after 11am, and worked my ass off lol. Hemmed up my favourite jeans and two pairs of hubby's jeans (that needed doing and saved us $30 not having to pay someone to do it 'yay') I made another bias dress, and another over-top. Finished off a couple of the other tops...I am one happy girl!!

It's bloody awesome that I can make so many gorgeous clothes for a better price that what they sell for at the shops - and I KNOW that this stuff I am making suits me - is a one-off - fits well...

So that's it, gave my tutor a hug, I really like her :) And off I went, no more class for 2 weeks...I'm going to miss it, but at least I won't be staying home, I'll be enjoying the sun in another country wooo hooo!!

It's hubby's last night at work today too - he's taken tomorrow night off. So tomorrow we are going to be super busy getting things sorted out.

7:30pm - well that's lovely NOT - just spent the last 1.5hours driving around! Daughter wanted to go to the minister's family service tonight (actually we all should have gone but I just couldn't be bothered...not with all the kids, these things (Samoan family services) turn into ALL NIGHTERS!! So cos' we only have one car, when hubby got back from taking the boys to training, we all went and dropped him off to work, then went to Manurewa to take Miss 15 to church - it was PACKED!! Cars everywhere - double parked, triple parked - you name it!! lol. Then just as I am pulling into our driveway, I get a txt from her..."Mum please come and pick me up - I can't even get in the door!" So I turn around, get some gas for the car and back to Manurewa to pick her up *pheww* and this is all 'just' as the rush hour traffic is dying down!! Felt buggered to be honest - as if I'd been driving around forever!! And to add to my grief, I have to go and pick hubby up at 3am...cos I took the car to take miss 15!! *sigh* Oh well...again I must remind myself that there are other people must worse off and I should be complaining!! Which is so true - and after all that driving around, we are home safe... so SMILE :)

But I tell ya what - I'm really gonna enjoy this holiday that's for sure - I WILL enjoy every moment of it...relax and enjoy it...cos sure enough when I get back it's gonna be full on - not only with the kids sports, but with classes, I really want to start sewing more for selling...I'll be talking to the accountant as soon as I get back to get the ball rolling...so yep - I will enjoy every moment of my holiday :)

Tonight I'm gonna make a start on clearing out my room. Nighty night :)

3 more sleeps!! That's crazy!!

getting butterflies in my tummy - don't know if it's cos I'm excited, nervous that I haven't packed - haven't bought everything my mum has asked for lol, sad that I'm going to miss the kids...excited to see my mum...god it's a combination of everything I think!!

Feel grate that I have my wardrobe sorted with a couple of days to spare - just need to buy some GOOD underwear and a new bra...god knows my 'girls' need a good push UP!! lol

I'm not sure if I'll spend the whole day in class tomorrow...I still feel like I've got lots of little things to sort out before I go...need to send the money over for the land...I want the best rate...so that's at the top of my list to sort out!!

Oh gawd...with MIL's changing shifts at work, for the first week we are away, she's going to stay here in our house with the kids...that's kinda stressing me out, I'm gonna have to do a good clean up...well, house is clean already, thanks to the valuation we had done last week lol, I just KNOW the kids are gonna be snooping around in my room...touching this and touching that!! I'm a control freak when it comes to MY stuff!! I don't even like the kids touching my things!! So for a start I'll have to put all my valuables away in Miss 15's room...what a headache!!

Well...I'm gonna go to bed now, it's just after 9pm...early night for me.

Pics...

well...would have done this earlier, got all dressed up in my new clothes and hello...cameras battery was flat lol. So an hour later, here I am...in all my glory lol.
So here we go people...






















These are bias cut dresses, they are super comfy to wear. The pink one is a c-thru fabric so it's been fully lined in a dark pink lawn fabric.
















I think I have posted the two tops on the right before - they still aren't finished but will finish them tomorrow :)














I made ALL these tops and the denim short - just NOT the white boob tube.

Been super busy!!

Sewing of course!!

Actually on Sunday evening I found myself quite sad and stressed at the same itme...I was sad cos my MIL's church minister passed away early saturday night, he was only in his 60's, he was a nice man, but it got me thinking - mum is 65 this year, what if when I go over, this is the last time I see her again?? I was sooo sad - felt better when I let hubby know that was upsetting me. *sigh*

I was also stressed about my trip - my wardrobe actually lol. I just felt that last week i was so busy sewing yet I wasn't overly happy with anything I had made...then on Monday, I made the most gorgeous - yet simple - bias cut dress...it's sleeveless but I'm going to make a little over-top to go with it...then I was on a roll!! BIG TIME!!

Have been busy this evening with the boys rugby league training and sorting out the managements side of the team with my co-manager, seeing as I will be away for 3 saturdays. Got home just after 6pm and got diner ready - but am going to get miss 15 to take lots of pics tonight:)

Lazy Saturday...

after an early start to the day with the boy's league games, I slowed it right down with a late morning nana nap. :)

Both boys played at the same time at different parks, I went to Mr 12's game and hubby went to mr 7's game. mr 7 got Player Of the Day - he's a natural...impressive every week :)

Mr 12 also had a great game :) Both teams won.

I picked up my swim suit I bought off TM on the way home, it's a little lower at the back which is annoying, as I DID ask on the auction if the back was 'low' or high and I was assured it was high...well high my ass...it's LOW...but not super low, so when I tried it on (thank god it fit - it's a sz 16) the front looks gorgeous, but the back - well...it's low enough to get a peep of my rolls *sigh* Anyway...that'll have to do.

I'm working tonight, I am on day 2 of my period, as usual it's super heavy :( I am so NOT in the mood to work - but too late to pull out now :( I'll cope I suppose :( Just think of the extra spending money to get me through?

I want to do a little bit of sewing this afternoon...my whole mood is a bit ickky to be honest - I hate having my period, it gets me down, I feel super tired, I get cramps...my weight, which I haven't talked about, is getting me down sometimes...I'm around 103kgs...I was down to 96 last dec...what happened?? I can tell you what happened, I SNACK all bloody day on the WRONG foods!! I don't have any structure to my days meal wise...just nibble this and nibble that - all bad for me, all the wrong things to eat...MY FAULT completely - just like pre-surgery - except I can't pig out like I used to which is why I got to 150kg+! And of course the inactivity is another MAJOR factor!

It's getting me down a little - I won't let it get me all the way down, denial helps lol. But I'm just thinking, well...when I get back I'm going to join the gym with Miss 15 - so until then, shut up and stop complaining, and stop the snack foods while ya at it lol.

OK so I'm off to do some sewing...not sure what to make, I'll just stand at my cutting table and wait to be inspired :)

Gorgeous day...

and I'm in a fantastic mood :) Hubby and I picked up my new Juki industrial flat bed machine this morning (well it's secondhand - but I'm it's new owner lol).

Paid $145 for it - absolute BARGAIN!! VERY happy...will get it serviced when I get back from Samoa in a couple of weeks. I'll have to make room for it too...*deep breath* it's already tight for space cos of the cutting table! Reason for the new/extra flat bed sewing machine, is so that I can have one set up for the binding. When you put the binding attachment on, you have to change the whole set up - not just a foot...so, lots of hassle, in my books anyway, much easier to have a whole nother machine set up for the binding, which is something that I will be using lots of as I love to work with Knit fabrics.

Hubby has gone to the banks to sort out the financial things...I couldn't be bothered going.

Am off to the fabric shop when hubby gets back with the car. Have to by some elastic and black thread.

9:30pm - well folks, I'm on a roll!! I have made another 2 tops so far this evening, I just LVOE the fit on the latests tops I am making, so I'm making a fwe of them up as they'll be perfect for Samoa...really flattering, sleeve length is at elbow length, so covers my bat wings perfectly without being too long! And of course as I mentioned it's a super comfy cut...one of the ones I made is a cowel neck - turned out PERFECTLY - will have pics tomorrow :)

Both my boys are playing at the same time tomorrow and at different parks - I hate that :( I'm going with Mr 12 and hubby will watch Mr 7. Both kick off at 9:45am, a bit of an early start, will have to be at the park by 8:15am to factor in travel time to the away game.

Also, I'm working tomorrow night. I'm not keen, but hubby wants me to work...it's good money, 4 hours work, clear $104...4 hours of just bagging a Sunday paper lol...so no brain work involved lol. But very easy money so can't compain - just can't stand certain people at work...anyway, more money for Duty Free? lol.

A few things I have made...

So first up... this is a 'boob tube' dress...



















Next up, another boob tube dress, with a black bolero/shrug I made, was playing around with it...so it's my 'sample' it's a little too short in the back, would make it again a bit longer. I actually love the pink ruffle trim - it's cute.





















Excuse the bra peeping out in this pic...





















This is a really neat dress that I copied from a dress I already had (but is a little bit faded due to me wearing it all the time lol)




















Again without the Pagani bolero.



















This is a dress...well it was supposed to be a dress but in my rush to get home, I cut it a little short, so it will end up being a TOP lol. I don't be wearing this in Samoa - I don't think it's me... EDIT: LOL I'm looking at this top and the wife from 'Married with Children' keeps poping in my mind LOL. Maybe I shoudl make it shorter and keep it in the bedroom? lol




















This didn't turn out as I imagine it would...*sigh* Mr 12 says I look like a clown :(





















Now, I got home, had a rest and grabbed a top out of my wardrobe and 'whipped' this up...and guess what - I LOVE it!! Not the best pics - I am not wearing my 'support' underwear LMAO...but these two tops are a definite for my holiday wardrobe!! Oh and this first 'circular' one is not finished, needs to have binding on the neck done and to be hemmed up - which I'll do on Monday in class.





















This one is gorgeous (also needs to be hemmed up and sleeves cuffs done) but I love the print!! Miss 15 says it's am ugly print but great style top. Cant' win lol. Mind you - I am not 15. lol. I was trying to make a cowl neck, but cut it too low, so played around with it, ended up pleating the neckline to pull it in...it actually looks GREAT LOL...

So yeah - that's what I made in the past two days...I'm going to play around with the pattern from the last two tops...I love the way they feel and fit - really flattering (especially when I wear my support lol) Really want to make me a cowl neck top to take over...

9 more sleeps??

OMG it's creeping up on me - this holiday next!! I'm excited about it again - and no, it's not the prospect that we might actually get the loan top-up to pay the land off...which was the main reason for the trip in the first place LOL. Cos regardless of whether the loan is approved or not, hubby and I are going to have a great time. If I think I have been hard done by, by having to work at my mum's shop everything I go there, then hubby has been totally RIPPED off cos he's been a few times but he's NEVER done any of the tourist things/attractions! I have...but never with hubby and not ALL of them...so this is going to be an awesome trip...

I have classes today - so much in my head to design and sew...it's a lil scary lol. I just feel the pressure to get it all done by next Thursday...and I want to sew my MIL an outfit for Mother's Day, I still need to sew my lil sis and nephew (who are bothin Samoa) raincoats, poncho/cape style...I want to whip my mum up a couple of 'mu'u mu'u' style dresses for her...so much to do...

5pm - Hi Janine :) Will be in contact with you when I get back! :)

Well - good news people - our valuation came through and we can now do what we had planned to do - pay off the land in Samoa *woo hoo!!* Mum also has another piece that she is having problems paying, she has offered that to me and hubby - she just wants us to pay the balance and we'll put it in me and hubby's name...can't say no to that!! So we'll come back with two pieces of land '1/4 acre' each, in our names...free hold *yay*

There will be a bit left over from out top-up which we have not decided what to do with yet - haven't even given it much though, but we do NEED to repair/update the kitchen and bathroom - it's not enough to do anything flash, but enough for me and fabulous 'budget' ideas to play with and make something amazing happen, if I had the chance. We certainly won't be spending it on a family holiday - which would be awesome/lovely/perfect...but no. Not gonna happen. Much better to put it into something we can 'see' and that will last - a family holiday is something I'd rather save up for...and use 'real' money on, not loan it then come back to a headache of paying it off.

Well...talking about headaches...I have one now. I woke up this morning and went to school with a million and one ideas in my head about what to sew and for once I didn't bother to write anything down and of course when I got to school my mind went BLANK!! I finished off two dresses. made one up from scratch...made a wee bolero/shrug thingy - and that was it - all burnt out - didn't know what to do next - decided that was enough and came home just before 2pm.

Will take pics when miss 15 gets home from school...

10:30pm - *ahhhh* had a SUPER HOT bath bout an hour ago...I can't remember the last time I treated myself to a bath!! Been meaning to for ages, bath bombs on hand, but just never been bothered, settled with super HOT showers, but tonight I took the time, when the little ones were in bed fast asleep...and oooohhhh....was sooo nice!! I stayed in for at least 30mins...if there was a tv in there I'd have stayed in longer lol...Ooooh....maybe we'll blow the left over money on a spa pool!! LOL - nope - that's not gonna happen.

After my bath I thought I'd snuggle into bed and relax, watch a little telly - but nope - that didn't happen. Turned on the tv and stood at my sewing table...I've made another top - well...have cut it out at least...I'm looking for some black thread now...which is how I ended up back on the computer lol...just can't go past without logging on!! Talk about addicted!! lol.

Ok, well...nighty night people :) 9 MORE SLEEPS!!!

Butterflies in my tummy!!

lol - yep - that's how I feel...and all cos of this valuer coming over at 12pm today!

The house is all tidy - just have to vacuum and mop the floors, something I thought I'd do this morning once the kids have gone to school - otherwise I know I'd be doing them twice!

I even had a dream about the valuer coming over...but I was holding a baby - WTF was that about?? I am not planning any more kids!

I'm having the day off classes today so I can be home when this guy comes over. I couldn't even sleep last night so spent a couple of hours making up two boob tube dresses - the sample one needs adjusting, but the second one turned out nice.

10pm - well...the valuer has come and gone - I told him that our loan had been approved as long the value came in at $*** and at the end of it he said it will be close $*** (the figure I mentioned) - so not very promising if you ask me...I'm quite prepared for this to not go through - I was prepared after last weeks phone call saying we weren't approved, so this week when they called again and said we were approved depending on the valuation - well it's just given me a little glimmer of hope lol - am not gonna be upset if it doesn't come through...disappointed but not upset. So I'm thinking of maybe giving up the design/pattern making course and taking up Property Valuation...this dude got $450 for his 15 mins he spent here!! Ok ok so he goes back and prepares the report - which takes what? All of another 15mins?? LMAO *sigh* But the house is clean so that can only be good :)

The guy was gone by 12:15pm, hubby and I had a coffee and a smoke - yes I had ONE smoke - lord knows I needed it...I was soo nervous and when he left saying "It'll be 'close' " well that just left me in limbo...*sigh* But we followed our smoke and coffee up with some great afternoon sex LMAO. WooP WooP hehehe. Followed by a lovely nap...till 3 when the kids came home.

Oh and do you want a little laugh...our banking consultant is on annual leave so we had to call the bank and find out who was covering h
er...well wait for it...HIS name is MANMEET - I think that's hilarious!! I said to hubby that maybe he's a part time Indian Porn Star?

Anywhoo...it provided the giggle I needed to calm down soon after the guy had left.

Mr 12 went to Laser Strike this evening with a group of kids who regularly attend a 'youthgroup' run by a local Church nextdoor to the school, a couple of the leaders there are also teachers at the kids school, (one was Mr 12's teacher last year - he thrived in her class!!) So each wednesday they have a youthgroup for any kids over the age of 12. If they have activities like they did today, the kids pay for themselves, cost $10 today and mr 12 had an awesome time! Twice a week on other days they have an afterschool program for any age...they have games and help with homework. It's really neat, the boys love to go...miss 9 isn't interested, she's always doing school work on her own at home anyway (little geek lol) and there isn't any pressure for the kids to actually attend the church services on sunday...

Anyway, this evening I have made a REALLY gorgeous dress that I just need to add the banding to along the hemline - will def take a pic :)

Well..it's been a 'high & low' day thanks to this valuer who came over...tomorrow will be a nervous waiting game...nothing that is in my hands anyway, so no need to stress...we'll find out all in good time :)

Did you order a taxi?

just before 6:30am a taxi comes up the driveway (share my driveway with nextdoor who had ordered a taxi and are clearly marked as 2/20) and beeps their horn once. I wake up. 2 mins later they beep it 3 times. So I got up, went out there and the taxi driver jumps out and asks me if I odered a taxi. I said 'No, and it's 6:30am, there's no need to be beeping your horn and waking people up'

What does the driver do?? No he doesn't apologise, he beeps his horn again!!

SO I did call and the guy who answered wasn't much help, didn't apologise at all. I just found the driver really rude - and am completely disappointed that the guy who answered the phone was just as rude by not apologising.

Am I the only one who thinks it is NOT ok to park outside someones house at 6:30am and beep their horn several times? If it was during the afternoon or later in the morning, at least be daylight I wouldn't have minded so much.

Anywhoo...vent over, that's my bitch for the day lol

So anyway, it's finally raining I say *yay* don't know if anyone else is happy lol. But I love the rain...for now anyway. It's the end of a pretty dry summer, but I'm sure by the end of winter I'll be well and truely over it. For now, it's great for the plants :) Just wish the cold wind would bugger off!!

I'm going to have another productive day in class today I am sure :) Will be back with pics to share :)

So here it is...the top I made today :) Was going to easticate around under the bust, but decided it looked and felt super just like that...have also made another with mainly black but a black/silver fabric for the ruffle and raglan sleeves...have left it at school by mistake so can't take a pick...will post a pic of it on thursday as I won't be going to school tomorrow...we have the guy coming over at lunch time tomorrow to value our home *wish us luck!!* So I'm staying home to tidy up and have a nice word to him lol

YAY

we came back home from the inlaws at 4pm - don't know how we managed to do that but we did :)

We were all pretty tired once we were home though, I had a wee nana nap. Woke up feeling really refreshed.

All the kids came into our room and watched a movie on Sky TV with us, while I was sewing miss 9 and mr 7's trackpants for their school uniforms. I could only get 2 pairs out of the 2mt of fabric I bought, with lots of scrap left over - not enough to make anything out of really, but enough for me to hoard and prolly give to miss 9 who will LOVE it - gosh, she LOVES collecting the scrap fabric and she hand sews little dresses...lol. So cute. She really is a mini me I guess.

I made some date scones too...cos poor FIL who picks miss 15 up for school at 7:15am every morning and usually brings her home too, bless him, has been requesting them since forever, and I either keep forgetting to buy the dates or have been too busy, but they are sooo incredibly easy to make. So late night at 11pm, I made a double batch. He'll really appreciate them I am sure :)

I also cleaned up my sewing area of my room. Organised a few of my fabrics, twas getting incredibly messy on the floor with all the scraps and threads!

Well this week and next week, I am going to focus on making me dresses and tops for my holiday to Samoa. Not half-assed-jobs, but good quality garments, well constructed, well designed :) I've got a couple of styles in mind for a gorgeous dress in mind with some lovely lace type fabric I bought on Saturday, will fully line it in a satin fabric...this will be for when hubby and I have diner or lunch somewhere flash :)

So I have organised to take a couple of different fabrics today so I can whip up the pattern and hopefully complete a couple of dresses...fingers crossed :)

My auctions that close this week will not be relisted, I can't be bothered with TM for the moment, just want to focus and power through making me some garments.

Oh and I was up early again this morning, before 6am - don't know why - maybe excited about a new week? Excited about sewing me some gorgeous clothes - I dunno - but it feels good to feel good lol.
ONE WEEK COMPLETELY AND HONESTLY SMOKE FREE - passed two huge tests over the weekend...firstly the boys league games, where everyone knows the more excited I get, the more I smoke - wasn't even interested! Then again at sunday lunch at the inlaws...where everyone except FIL smoke...it's a social thing and I can proudly say that I sat with them outside while they all smoked and I didn't even want for one...let alone a puff so YAY for me :)

10pm - I had a GREAT DAY!!
Made three dresses in class today, have photo's of two of them...first one is completed...




















This next one needs to be 'roll hemmed' on hemline and sleeves. I'm going to rouche the sleeves to shorten them right up, but to keep the length underneath to hide my bat wings.

They are both super comfy to wear. The fabrics are gorgeous, hard to see in the pic, but the second top has flecks of gold all over - it's quite dressy ;)


















So yep - this is what I have been upto today :) Oh and fantastic news on the financial front!! We have a guy coming over on Wednesday to do a valuation on our house - wish us LUCK!!! Will be such a relief if it all comes through!!

I'm going to finish off a couple of dresses tomorrow - and I'm going to work on a cowl neck style top - with maybe short sleeves...we'll see. I love cowl necks - LOW ones lol...

Right now I'm off to bed, maybe watch a bit of tell until I doze off :)

Nighty night :)

Well it's Sunday and so far my weekend has been really 'nice' - very homely :) Just as I had planned.

Friday night I stayed up late sewing miss 9 and mr 7's hoodies, both tured out very well - helps when you make the pattern properly and not just try and cut it out and hope like made it'll fit lol.

It's great having Sky TV in my room again (moved it out to put in the room dad was in). It's great to have it there to keep me entertained while I'm sewing and cutting out.

Saturday morning we had the boys league games, both had home games thank god!! They both had AWESOME games - very proud of them both. Mr 7 got most improved *yay* He's an outstanding defence player - but when his team have the ball he still stands on the outside, I guess hoping that the person with the ball will send it out like they do in the 'big boys games' but no - never happens, all the other kids all bunch up and fight over the ball LOL, same thing happened last year...btw - last year he got Best Defensive Player at end of year prizegiving. So I gave him a talk and told him to when his team have the ball 'get IN there' so get IN there he did!! WOW, he did so well...even got a try - I was a very proud mummy :)

Mr 12 also had an awesome game, last week he got 'Best Forward' so that was neat - just sad I missed that game. But this week he did have a great game again...his team is great - the coach is also really good - awesome combination.

One of the older siblings of the boys has stepped up to be my co-manager *YAY*!!

Anyway, in between games, I managed to pop into my Fav Fabric Store - which is in the same suburb as the boys' league team *woo hoo* lol. I bought some blue sweatshirting fabric (school colour) to make miss 9 and mr 7 some track pants for school. I have always bought their uniforms, but now that I have everything set up at home, I thought why not make what I can? So it's cost me $18 for 2mt of sweatshirting fabric. I can get 2 pairs (Pretty sure I can get 3 pairs!!) so that's at least $9 a pair. They are simple track pants so won't take long to make at all...the school sell them for $25 - so a good saving :) And they'll fit perfectly - especially for miss 9 who is pretty 'tubby' lol.

After the game we came home and I got into a bit more sewing, cutting out actually - another hoodie for miss 9. Ended up having a wee nap though, was sooo tired. Woke up at 6pm, had taken out wiener schnitzel for diner, was going to crumb it up and have it with creamy mashed potato and some steamed vege, but just couldn't be bothered, so went down to the super market and picked up some fresh baked bread rolls. I cut the schnitzel into long, really thin strips, marinated it in light soy sauce, sesame seed oil, oyster sauce, and dash of dark soy sauce and corn flour and a bit of crushed garlic, thinly sliced LOTS of onions...quickly stir fried that...and waaa laaa!! Help yourself night. lol. Too easy.

Today, I would love to stay home and do more sewing, I still haven't made the kids school track pants yet! But since dad was here (7 weeks) we only went to the Inlaws once for sunday lunch, which is what we always do usually. I do love to go there, I don't mind at all, but it has been a good break I suppose. So, we'll get going at about 11am, the kids will get ready for church *bless them* and hubby and I will stay home and do all the cooking lol. Which if I haven't already mentioned, is always a HUGE (banquet almost!!) of Island food...enough to feed a small army for a week...or 15-20 Samoans LOL.

I hope to come home early though, which means 4pm - but I don't know if that's gonna happen :( If we don't try and come home early we sometimes get home as late as 9pm and that is wayyy too late for the kids and school tomorrow obviously, so I usually start saying at about 4pm, "We should go, kids have school tomorrow" lol...by about 6pm, it finally sinks in and we make our way home.

OK well...before I leave, I like to make sure all the kids uniforms are washed and dried, or at least hanging up, school bags and shoes 'check' cos there is nothing worse than coming home tonight, tired and sleepy just to realise that one of them hadn't put their uniforms in the washing on friday.

TGIF!! Ain't that the TRUTH!!

it would seem everyone in this house has it in for me this morning - my one day in the week that I have for myself - my one day off from my course - and I'm pulling my nuts apart (lmao) sorting everyone elses problems out!!

Miss 9 - today is friday, so if I have the money, the kids get to order - which I did BUT of course Miss 9 aka Drama Queen, decides that she HATES to order. Ok, "So go to the shop which is next door and buy yourself something?" Her: "No - I hate going to the shop" Me: "Fine then, so you're saying you don't want to order and you don't want to buy something form the shop? There's a nut bar in the cupboard, Mandarin in the fruit bowl, yoghurt in the fridge, give my $5 back and have a great day - see how easy that it..."

Mr 7 - who I swear is going to be a male stripper when he grows up cos he loves to parade around the house butt naked! he gets changed where ever he is standing. (and yeah, typical male fashion - leaves the clothes he was wearing on the floor where he gets changed!) This morning he couldn't find his school uniform sweatpants - they are in winter uniform now. So I said "Look...everyday I tell you to get changed in YOUR room...no one else wears your clothes, no one has touched your clothes - YOU find them...I don't want to hear you CAN'T find them, just get them and put them on!!" 2 mins later he finds them on the floor in his room - under all his 'things'...

mr 12 - well what's new? Nothing. Every morning he is the last one up - last one dressed - and last one to leave and I'd be willing to bet $100 each day that as soon as he gets to the bottom of the driveway - he turns around cos he's forgotten something!

But to add to the usual dramas of the day...Miss 15 who took hubbys ATM card to school yesterday to buy the school blazer she's been nagging us for for the past year (it's optional...) didn't give the card back, so has taken it with her to school again today - but I NEED the card TODAY! So hubby who has to start work at 9am today, will come home at 12pm so that we can go to the bank and withdraw the money out...bit of a hassle...but nothing major - just another wee stress on an already stressful morning :/

Anywhoo...it's 9:15am and I am all alone!! Can't imagine that 30 mins ago I was quietly going nuts - but as each child left and hubby left for work...my sanity returned - bit by bit...lol. And here I am starting to feel like myself again - even more so though as this is the first day off school that I am TRULY ALONE and it really is MY DAY *yay* The kids have been home for the last two weeks for holiday and my dad has been here for as long as I have been at my course - and of course hubby who usually starts at 6pm, started at 9am today - I am really am a FREE woman!!

I've been on a buzz since the person left this house at 8:50am. have vacuumed the house, done the dishes, wiped down the kitchen, started a load of washing (9.5kg washing machine so that's like 2 normal loads!!) have one ready to hang out and another full load to put in when this lot is done *sigh* Ummm...I thought this was MY DAY off? My day to do things for just me...ahhh NO - sorry - this is MY DAY to do the bloody housework that I don't get done during the week cos I'm too buy fluffing around after everyone else lol.

So I had better get to it. Would like to mop the floor in the kitchen/dining room today *shock horror did I just say that??* I'll attempt to clean the kids rooms...*OMG I'm feeling light headed just thinking about it!!** lol

Ok...well...ta ta for now people :)

1:30pm - feeling way better now :)

Hubby came home at 12pm, picked me up, did what we had to do at the bank, I dropped him back off to work, then I went to the fabric shop to buy some merino ribbing for the purple check jumper I'm putting together :) *yay retail therapy*

While I was there, I 'eyed' up some polar fleece and bought some to make miss 9 (bless her stubborn heart) a couple of hoddies - will cut a pattern this time so should be perfect :) And she'll be so toasty warm! Bought some dark grey polar fleece for mr 7. No doubt mr 12 and miss 15 will ask why I didn't buy them anyway - well truth is they are fussier aren't they...so they can choose their own one day soon.

I ended up buying some polar fleece with 'I love mommy, I love daddy' on it, bought it thinking I'll make a couple of wee cuddle rugs to try and sell...if they don't go, my kids will appreciate them so not a loss either way lol.
This is a pic of the fabric I bought this morning...not the best pic - but can't complain really cos the sun is shining and warming up the house *yay* it's quite cold outside in the wind!

Oh the brown fabric is sooo cute - has little cream and blue paw prints, will use it as a contrasting fabric for miss 9's hoody - she loves cutie cute things :)















Well someone spank me!! It's nearly 2pm, and after I had just blogged I was going to go and get a little creative, do some sewing - but I just had to detour to the kitchen...and ended up making a 'hedgehog slice' from the back of the cadbury's cocoa pack...basically just an unclooked slice of crushed biscuits, REAL butter, egg, sugar and cocoa....*sigh*

It will be cooled by the time the kids come home at 3pm, they will love it and they will love me lol - that's the plan anyway :)

One of hubby's cousins is having her 21st tonight, he's keen to go and I can't be bothered...would rather stay home and sew to be honest - and after out last night out where I was accused of...god I don't even know what I was accused of LOL - well, I can't be farked with that either. So poo's to him, he's more than welcome to go without me. Besides, we have the boys games tomorrow morning, have to be at the park by 8:30am for mr 7's game, so totally puts me off going anywhere on a Friday night.

Right I'm off...lots of good intentions but something is telling me I may just end up laying down in bed for an hour of peace and quiet before the kids come home and harras me - ph but hang on - I have the fudge slice to bribe them with!! LOL

Oh n the fudge slice - as if it wasn't fattening enough, I'm going to make a chocolate icing for it *runs away from the diet police!!*

And...the baby blankets I have made :) See i didn't have a nap lol!!

LOL - heck even I don't envy my life sometimes (very rearly) but it is MY life and for the most part I do love it :) 4 kids is hard work, no doubt about that...I could not imagine my life without each one...as much as they make me crazy they make me laugh, smile, love a million times over.

It's just after 10pm and I have just made Miss 9 and mr 7 GORGEOUS little hoodies, they're the same size almost so one pattern worked for both of them, I just did a bit more work to Miss 9's hoodie pocket, added a pleat and piping - really cute. Fit well and they can wear them both to the boy's games tomorrow morning, so YAY :)

I'm pretty tired now...so night night :)

Who loves merino wool???

I'm a new FAN!! Wnet to my fav fabric store today and finally treated myself to some merino wool - it's not cheap I tell ya!! But it's gorgeous, I bought some hot pink and quickly whipped miss 9 up a hoodie sweater. She hasn't been feeling well all week, but keeps insisting on going to school (which she loves). She wakes up 'ok' but comes home completely buggered (tues and wed) so today I made her stay home from school - but let her come with me to class...she's such a good kid, I knew she'd be able to sit still and do her own thing...which she did.

She's really happy with the hoodie too :) I'm not that happy with it, cos I didn't do a pattern for it, I just 'whipped' it up. It's wearable but the fit isn't completely right. Anyway, it'shot pink, 100% merino - so she'll be warm :)

I bought me some gorgeous purple and black check fabric, 260gm I think, so pretty thick - and super warm :)
Also bought some gorgeous light blue merino (I think it's about 87% merino) and made a drapey vest out of it...will post pics tonight.

So I have had a great day.


8pm :) Here are some pics..
The purple unfinished top is a really neat 100% Merino fabric. I need to buy some plain black Merino for the cuffs and binding to finish it off - will do that tomorrow :)

























This next one is a drapey/vest/cardy top, I like it but it's not really me...I may alter the pattern to have extra fabric pleats from the front shoulder...but this fabric is about 87% merino...really gorgeous feel!!




















And this one is exactly the same as the top I made yesterday (and wore today lol) but with 3/4 sleeves.




















So hubby didn't finish work till after 6pm. He started at 8:30am. I took the boys to league training, had a brief talk with the coach at the begining, then sat the rest of the training out in the car - I was wayy too tired, felt weak to be sitting out on the field freezing! As yet, no one has stepped up to take on the role of team manager - I am not surprised...

Anyway, had a lovely diner, just gonna hang out and watch TV. Oh I bought some chocolate brown hair dye from the supermarket lol...will do that tonight. I used to spend over a hundred at the hairdressers every 3 months like clock work...I just can't be bothered anymore - maybe I should be bothered? For the past 5 years I used to get full foils, but it just seems that EVERYONE does that now so for the past 6 months ago I bought some supermarket dye, and I'm just going for a flat all over colour now. I don't mind paying just over $100 at the hairdressers for foils...but I'm too 'tight' to pay them $70/$80 to dye my hair one flat colour - so I'll stick to the $9.99 box from Pak'n'Save lol.

Ok well...off to dye my hair, the kids will be in bed shortly *bliss*

Night night all :)

Good morning world :)

am up early to wake miss 15 up for school. She usually gets a ride every morning from her Grandpa, who arrives at about 7:15am. But every wednesday, school starts at 9:30am, and it's when my SIL (yes MY SIL who is a few months younger than my daughter LOL) has Lacrosse training, so they still leave home just after 7am so they can be at school by 8am. Grandpa usually without fail calls our house at 6:30am to wake her up...wakes me up too :(

So he called this morning and I told him it's ok, she can catch the school bus. So she gets to sleep in all of 30mins lol. The school usually leaves at 7:15am, today it will leave at 7:40am. WOW lol. All I know is THANK GOD I don't have classes in Auckland CBD and that hubby works down the road (10min walk). What a waste of 'time' sitting in traffic every morning...

Anyway, I didn't take myself to bed till well after 11pm, and I'm tired now. I've been up for at least 30 mins and I have no urge to have a smoke, so a good start to my day :)

6pm - here's the top I designed/made up today...simple raglan style (I love raglan sleeves - really comfy to wear and I reckon they're figure flattering :)

Love this one so much, that I'm going to buy some merino fabric tomorrow and make one up - I NEED some winter clothes!!

I'm feeling sooo inspired!!

sold a top tonight on TM that I listed last week - so thrilled, am thinking of including a little chocolate with the top when i send it - like those little 3pk of Forerro Roche(sp) (can't spell it but they taste damn good LOL) Just to say thank you for being my first TM customer and that I hope she likes the top :)

The two I listed tonight are:
This first one is a vest that drapes down the front...I added the capped style sleeves cos I know I like to cover my arms a little.









This next one if the cardy I posted a pic of the sample one last week, this is the finished product, with the huge but very cute button attached :)















I've felt really good this evening - in my mind 'good' - like a lot of stress has been lifted. As sad as it sounds, I think it's cos my dad has left, he was here for 7 weeks. And also, remember my lil bro had been living with us, but 2 weeks after dad arrived he moved out...so it's like this is the first time in a LONG time that it's truly only been just me, hubby and the kids!! LOVING IT!!

And I am looking forward to winter - believe it or not!! I'm looking forward to the rain, the wind - snuggling up in winter clothes, being indoors while it's pissing down with rain outside!

I'm looking forward to buying a pair of gumboots and wearing them to my boys' league games lol. I just love being snugly!! If it's anything like last winter, I'm gonna feel the cold something wicked, but I'm prepared!! Gonna make me some gorgeous 100% merino tops, especially want to make a plain black one, long sleeves to wear under other tops...that is for a start. Will get onto that when I get back from Samoa in 5 weeks.

In the mean time I need to get onto making me a couple of gorgeous sexy tops/dresses to wear in Samoa - planning on going out a lot with hubby, so needs some 'hot mama' dresses lol. This week though i want to focus on getting some tops made to sell on TM - mama needs spending money!! Then next week it'll be too late to list really as I'll be leaving in two weeks, so in the last two weeks I'll work on my tops/dresses.

But I'm also starting to get sidetracked!! Have come across a couple of merino baby items on Tm going for ridiculous prices!! I am thinking of making a couple of blankies...see how that goes. God they'd be simple as heck to make, and they could prove to be a good seller - I'll make a couple and see how they go.

Oh and I've been smoke free ALL evening - ALL DAY! YAY!! Don't even feel like a smoke - but I have noticed that I've been quite HYPO today LOL - god that sounds stupid!! But i have been, noticed I've been talking quite fast...non-stop. Don't know if it's cos I'm all of a sudden happy, or if it's my way of withdrawing from the smokes?? Who knows lol. Too much happening in my head I think!!

S L O W down!! Breath.

So yep...it's nearly 10pm, I've had a long HOT shower, washed me hair, moisturised, have my huge winter gown on, I feel so toasty and COSY - love this feeling!!

I'm going to go and do a bit of tinkering in my sewing room - which also happens to be my bedroom lol - I should take pics huh...shame LOL. But hey, work with what you have right?

*sigh* mixed emotions now...

It's 4:15am and I'm up early cos my dad has just left, to go back home to Samoa where he will continue to live in the village and run the shop, while mum stays in town with my lil sister as she has been since the beginning of this year.

The 'plan' before he was caught farking around with a 26yr old WHORE (yes you read that right, dad is 66 this year, I am 34 and the ho' bag he was bonking from the village was 26 - that's sick enough even if dad wasn't a married man!!), so anyway the 'plan' was that dad was going to work the shop anyway, cos it's great money (well it was/can be really good money until the cream was being syphoned off to support this whore with an apartment in town ($800) a month, this bitch went to Australia for a holiday last Christmas - you tell me how a bitch with 3 kids so far to 3 different men, living in a village in Samoa (ok - while she was studying in Apia, she was being put up in the apartment my dad was paying for) but you tell me how she could afford that trip - then it's confirmed that just before Christmas, my dad transferd $700 WST to her in Australia!! Un'farking'believable!! Can you imagine the exchange rate for a start?? But that $700 was sent around the same time my mum asked us for some money to help them out with the house they were building in town for her to stay in (and my mum NEVER asks us for money!!) so basically, the shop hasn't been doing very well for about a year now...basically since mum's been blind really, so that's the past 3 years, since mum's been blind, dad has been more of an 'asshole' and taken his cheating to another level - he has always cheated on my mother - I know that for a fact, mum knows too but has taken him back each time cos she feels sorry for him...and she's of the 'old school' thinking that it's a 'man's world' but she says now she never ever imagined that he's be this bad and almost ruin them (and us) financially!!

Anyway, I have had a word with my dad, didn't really discuss his cheating...but I did lay down the law with him, that if he is to continue cheating on my mum then so be it, but I am NEVER ever to hear another lady/woman from the village mentioned/linked to him. Reason being that my mum is blind, prior to her being blond, she was a hard working woman with a very generous heart - she was very house proud and very generous within the village/church (remember this is Samoa we are talking about - pride/face value is everything lol, her generosity caused many other women/people in the village to be jealous of her...so when she became blind, I know for a fact that a lot of people snickered behind my mum's back...and with my dad fucking a little whore from the village, (it's been going on with this ugly bitch for the past 3 years at least (so since mum was blind) it's just giving these other people cause to have a right good laugh at my mum, makes her look absolutely stupid!! And that's what hurts me a lot too! Plus the financial side of things...who the hell is going to support them both if he totally runs the shop into the ground supporting this bitch?

My father and I have a strange relationship...I was always daddy's girl. My mum always favoured my elder brother while we were growing up. I was a right little bitch to my mum, gave her a hard time - but she was a hard woman, she did smack us, quite hard, my dad never laid a finger on us, never even raised his voice. My dad WAS the perfect father. I can't fault anything he ever did as a father. It wasn't till I gave birth to my first child, that as soon as she was born, I looked at my mum and the first thing I said to her was "I'm so sorry mum" and burst into tears. I was sorry for ever 'thinking' she was the bad parent, that she was a bitch to me...she made me who I am today, and I love who I am lol. I love that I am compared to her, that I speak my mind, stand up for myself, am generous to others, the best compliment anyone can give me is that I am 'just like my mother'.

So since growing up and having kids, I've gotten to know another side of my dad.

If you met him, he's the loveliest, quiet SHY person you'd ever known. But behind that is a selfish, self centred man. He's alcoholic. Bang on 5pm everyday it's happy hour. Then his true colours come out. His racist opinions of Samoa/Samoans (he lives in Samoa FGS!!) On the occasions I have been there (which is many) I have had it out with him, but my foot down and told him if he doesn't like it, piss off back to NZ...no one is making him live there. I've realised that there are MANY non-Samoan people living in Samoa, and they all seem to love living there, they blend in well with the locals, they are happy going, easy going...adapt well to the Samoan way of living...they have their opinions of course, which is fair enough, but I just notice a real difference with my dad...so hard to explain...but he is living in the WRONG country with his way of thinking!

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I don't put up with his shit opinions and I give it right back to him, cos I'm not gonna stand there while he throws all this negative shit at me...I'm half Samoan. He offends me with what he says. My kids are Samoan. My partner is Samoan. My mother is Samoan. I'm not going to stand back while he goes on and on about crap. Like I said, if you don't like it LEAVE. But where would he go??

I'm a believer in KARMAR. My dad doesn't, nor does he believe in God. lol. Everything my dad touches turns to shit. For example...

While we were growing up, we had a REALLY good life. Family holidays, swimming pools, spa pools...flash homes...he had upto 3 rentals homes plus our home all in Auckland central, would each be easily worth a million bucks EACH today...but one by one he sold them (or did he loose them...I don't know) My mum left to live in Samoa when I was 15. I stayed back in NZ with my dad. By then he lost all the houses he owned except for the one we lived in, but before I was 18 he lost that one too and not long after planned to move to Samoa.


When my dad met my mum, he owned an acre of land at Beachlands which he sold to buy their first home, it's worth millions today.

After I was born, we all moved to Samoa when I was 2, my parents owned a lot of land in the hills of Apia...HE sold that before we moved back to NZ when I was 6 - today you can't get a 1.4 acre for less than $250K WST (or $180K NZD).

Today all they have to their names is what my MUM invested in. Back in the 1980's she bought 3 x 1/4 acres in Apia, with her own money, my dad tried to put her off...but she worked hard, mum always had a couple of jobs, cleaning, or care giver in a rest home...she paid these lands off herself...she went back to Samoa (little did I know at the time, she was actually leaving my dad) I just thought she was sick of NZ) She started the shop in her village, which was well run and before my dad turned up a couple of years later, she had won a 'business woman of the year' in Samoa award. She slowly re built the family home where the shop is, without the help of the extended family. Mum's house was the flashest house in the village...visitors to the village used to always mistake her house for the Reverends house...cos usually, the reverends house is the best looking house, paid for by the village...anyway...she managed to do all that, karma was good to her!! She was kind, always went beyond helping people. Especially so when she was working in NZ. She managed to help out so many people...especially extended family member from Samoa.

They also own some other land in another part of Apia. So, to this day, the material things they have are all due to my mum. My dad has nothing pretty much. 10 years ago, mum went to her lawyers and made her will. Most of the land is coming to me, and a pc to my eldest brother. my dad was hugely UPSET. He believed it should all be left to him. He was upset and angry and vowed to never spend another cent on the homes to built on the land in Apia. My mum tried to reason with him that there was no difference to leaving the land to the kids or him. Which is true, there is no way, even after what my dad has done, that I could ever kick him out...or make him leave...anyway, over the years since, he's learned to accept mum's decision and has helped her build the small home they have there now. But seriously though, if my mum didn't leave the land to us, and did leave it to my dad, if she passed away before him I 100% believe he was sell the land asap and move back to NZ...all her hard work down the toilet like everything else he touches.

One last example, he'd always had a secondhand van...3 years ago we got sick and tired of sending car parts to fix it. So we decided it was time for a new car. My younger brother got out a loan, my dad insisted on a brand spanking new Toyota delivery van. he didn't want seats or windows in the back cos he said he didn't want to encourage any 'bastards to jump in for a lift to Apia' *charming*. So anyway, this new van cost $60K WST. Less than a year after we bought this van, the Samoan govt decided to change the side of the road they drive on to the left side - which means we could have bought him a great car for less than a 1/4 of what we paid for that Van.

But since mum has been blind, we have noticed that they seem to be struggling more financially...dad always put it down to 'the bad economy' and we just 'believed him' but now we know...and I realise that doesn't matter how bad the economy is around the world, Samoans all over the world never fail to send money back to family in Samoa...so dad's shop should really be effected as bad as what he made us believe. Most of the shop profit was going on his different bitches he was supporting. Living the life of riley while my mum and lil sister struggled...

So anyway...dad has gone back. Hubby is at work still, won't be back till about 8am. Dad's flight is at 6am, so I asked my lil brother to take dad to the airport on his own, otherwise it means waking up ALL the kids and taking all of them at 4am...they'd be buggered for school the next day and I just can't be bothered with that. So he's gone. I'm sad that he's gone to be honest. It helps to know that I am going over in 3 weeks.

He didn't have much stuff to take back, so I bought a lot of snack foods and bits and pieces for my mum and lil sister, and also a box for my cousin's kids, who live in another house my mum built on the land where mum is living now in Apia. My cousin Dinah, bless her, she's the loveliest person. She has a great husband. They both work hard. They have 3 little boys. A daughter who passed away. Her parents (my mum's brother and his wife) live with them, looking after the kids while they work. They both have goods jobs, but of course as with ALL Samoan jobs, the pay is meagre!! Minimum wage is $2 an hour - actually it might be $1.60 an hour - not sure...but the cost of living is disgustingly high!!

Dinah also takes care of my mum. She loves my mum. My mum has been good to her. Dinah and her lil family have been living on mum's land for the past 4-5 years, taking care of the land and home, even though it is not much by our standards. She's been taking care of mum while mum's been staying there too, making sure my mum has good meals...and when my mum is sick Dinah is the daughter my mum needs...when I can't be there :( Dinah doesn't pay rent. Mum has never asked of anything from them, my dad however thinks they should be paying something...he doesn't realise that even though we are providing them with a home in town, they are also providing us with someone to look after the property. Without them there someone would have stolen the glass from the windows...and the weatherboards from the house lol...

Anyway, so dad didn't have much to take, half of what I bought is going to Dinah, nothing much, just a few packets of biscuits, chips, some nutella, cocopops cereal, packets of coffee, some toys for her boys, a bag of nappies and some wet wipes, shampoo & conditioner...she WILL appreciate everything very much, I just know it, anyway, so while I'm trying to pack all this stuff, dad is going on and on about the baggage allowance. I told him down worry I'll weigh everything, then he goes "I don't know why your bothering to buy all this stuff for Dinah - I wouldn't bother...waste of time" I said "Look...it's none of your business who I buy things for."
he goes "Oh well...if it makes you feel good" I said "Excuse me? Yeah, it does make me feel good thanks, just like when you spent all that money on what YOU spent it on to make YOU feel good...that's exactly what I'll do..." Well that soon shut him up.

He's a real tight arse unless it's something for him. He's sooo selfish.

But he's my dad and I do love him. And so on that note...he's gone back this morning. I am a little sad. Will miss him. Cos he was the best dad while I was growing up...and he's not a half bad dad to me now.

As for me and hubby...well, as quick as I was to flip and react the way I did...I'm half as quick to getting over it. I know I know...but it's all good...maybe I reacted as much as I did cos it's all this crap with dad...the financial crap with our home loan...maybe all that played a part? I dunno...but hubby is apologetic...and we're ok...for now lol.

So what else. Yesterday, Monday, I didn't go to class. I stayed home and I shouted dad, both my brothers and hubby to Valentines. Bloody good value, $14.90 for lunch...even I ate that much worth lol. Actually loved the cold kumara salad - was sooo tasty! Had that with a slice or two of hot ham MMmmm.

Today, I do plan on going to class...the kids will all go to school. We have rugby league training later this evening.

Oh, one of the tops I made and listed on TM has a bid on it!! WooP WooP!

5pm - and I've had an awesome day!! All I did in class was sew two cardy's and two vest top thingies lol. Really happy with them. I left class early to go to my fav fabric store - bought some gorgeous buttons, and dome huge fastners to finish off my cardies. Will do that tonight and list them...I NEED some spenindg money for my upcoming holiday lol.

I spent the day completely SMOKE FREE *YAY for me :)* No urge to smoke at all...helps that the other girls don't smoke - just the tutor, but i stayed well away from the 'smoking' area and didn't even have a break to be honest, just nibbled away at my lunch all day in class lol.

Hubby has taken the boys to training, then he'll go straight to work once he drops them back home just after 6pm.

Thanks Janene :)

sorry not sure what the best way to reply to comments are? Is it best to reply via the comment function, or just add to my post I already started or just start another post altogether? lol..

anyway, just wanted to say that about 7-8 yrs ago, I started getting fed up with hubby's lack of affection, his work-aholic'ness', the fact that he doesn't talk much to the point where we could go a whole week without talking!! I just blew and got really really depressed over it...realised I had honestly fallen out of love with him and we did break up about 4-5 years ago now - that lasted all of about 6 months...we got back together and I worked damn hard to learn to love him again...I'm still amazed - or was amazed at how much I love(d) him...how happy we were - but now this...what a load of bull shit!!

So while I was on cloud9 about 'us' and how far we had come, he was playing along BUT really - he thought I was acting that way cos I was guilty?? WTF is that about?? How could I be sooo fooled?? Am I even making sense?? How could he make me believe he was happy to when really in the back of his mind he was thinking such a terrible thing about me? How could have sex with me twice after our night out...yet be thinking I was trying to hit on someone else just hours before - PATHETIC...his problem NOT MINE! But seriously, he's put out the flame I tried so hard ignite!!

How can I feel or even ACT all lovely dovey now without being accused of being guilty of something sooo stupid? Easy for me to just be numb...feel nothing...what yet - what kind of relationship is that??

Oh well...time will tell...

Little mr 7 is not well - fever...sore throat...he started having a croaky voice about two days ago, and of course I tell him to stay in doors...but goodness knows if he's listening to me or not while I'm in class...and he's had rugby league training which he refuses to miss...so last night, when I had finished clearing up after diner, I wasn't in the mood to hang out with the kids, so went straight to bed, mr 7 wanted to sleep with me, which was ok, I needed a childs unconditional love - and he's my baby :) Anyway, he pretty much fell asleep straight away, which was good cos he LOVES to talk non-stop and I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone.

I woke up at around 10pm, that's when I came and blogged my heart out about how crap my day was :( I stayed up for about an hour then went back to bed.

I didn't get my wish, my defacto partner (lmao) was home early'ish' (4am), I played 'dead' but mr 7 woke up and asked his dad for a drink of water, then he put his arm around me and he was HOT - so up I got, some pamol and a cool drink of water...I put him in between me and my defacto partner...thank god, cos I still had that disgusted/repulsed feeling - I don't even want him touching me.

Mr 7 was up early, jumped out of bed, and D.Partner 'snuggled' upto me Ewwww!! Mr 7 to the rescue again, he wanted breakfast (which he usually just fixed himself) so I was more than happy to jump up and get that for him, I'm just going to stay up now, I would love to have a little more sleep - didn't sleep well last night and I really tired myself out when I went mental (when I say I went mental, I wasn't yelling and screaming - it was more curled up in bed just non-stop crying, so much crap going through my head - unable to make sense of anything and everything...complete confusion - so much to process...mentally draining....*sigh* So lonely...numb - every emotion you can think of at once...

Yeah well anyway, here I am. Gonna go and have a shower. Freshen up, put on some nice clothes, a bit of make-up, try and feel nice about myself...I dress nice all week, but I don't wear any make-up at all...not even a lipgloss! I feel I don't need to, but mostly cos I can't be bothered, but you know what - maybe I should BE BOTHERED!! At least a bit of lippy n mascara. Yep - but umm...my eye lids are a bit puffy from crying that I'll give the mascara today lol.

Oh and also, I've decided to give up SMOKING!! Yep - I'm gonna try. I do 'love smoking, enjoy every puff...but for some reason I just want to stop now. So my last smoke was at about 6pm yesterday. Let's see how long I can go without...

Thanks Janene!! For the compliments about the clothes and also for letting me know it's normal to feel 'ewwww out' about my Defacto partner (lol - don't even want to call him my hubby LMAO) This is just a rough patch...but I am in no rush to want to be in love with him...I'm more than happy to focus on my kids and design/sewing...as for sex, I'm more than happy and able to go without that for the next 20 years of my life - believe me!!

Anywhoo...got a call from the doc's that I need to go in and discuss my blood test results...had my bloods done just over a week ago, I did go in to see him BUT the waiting room was FULL - as usual, but I just couldn't be bothered facing it all, apparently Sunday mornings aren't crazy hectic (prolly cos all the islanders are at church lol) so I'll go just before 8am on Sunday morning and hope I'm one of the first on his list - they don't do appointments, but I guess the long waits is the price we pay for a discounted doc...costs me $10 to see him - free for the kids under 12yrs. Most medications are $3 a pop and I don't even qualify for a community services card - so pretty damn good compared to other docs...mind you, I feel that you have to be really pro-active and ask a million and one questions when you do see the doc, cos they just seem to pump their patients out really quickly, antibiotics and pamol...lol. Not me, I like to take my time, talk slowly and write a list before I go with everything that is wrong with whoever I'm taking with me.

Anyway, so that's me, first thing Sunday morning - see the doc.

Today, mr 7 is not well, so I'm going to drop mr 12, miss 9 & 15 at the mall to see a movie, they can walk back (about 15 min walk from Manukau Westfield and Rainbows End) I'll take mr 7 to my favourite 'asian' store (hope I didn't offend anyone lol) buy him a couple of books, miss 9 loves the sodoku puzzles, she's nearly finished the first one I bought her over a week ago, so might get her another one, mr 7 loves wordfinds. Will take dad with us, he goes back on Tuesday morning.